So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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