turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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