I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
