I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize