therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
