did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
