He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
