do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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