I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
