Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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