Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Can I color on your dick again?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
