After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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