i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
