The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize