You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize