He is an equal opportunity slut.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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