It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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