Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Randomize
