so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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