I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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