I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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