Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
