Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
