I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
