I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
love makes seman taste better
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
