No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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