I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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