So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
