I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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