Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
