Barsexuality is the new black.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
