im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
