fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Too much gin, very little bucket
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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