It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize