I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
