you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
