obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
