I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
