You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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