They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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