Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
