Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
