So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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