Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
