After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
We got so high we made milksteak
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
