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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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