it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just want nice things and good sex
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
