Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
