Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
