We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize