She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize