Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
