I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
