Define "chronic" masturbator.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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