did you get engaged???
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
