at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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