why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
