The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
