Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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