i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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