I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize