I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
