If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
