Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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