Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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