Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
