I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
