That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
