I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
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