I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
