broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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