do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
whose ass print is on the piano?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
